I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
