it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
