I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
