Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
