U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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