her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
