Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
