so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
