Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize