Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
