Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
