I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
