i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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