Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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