You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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