I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
