Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
