my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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