It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
