Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize