i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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