There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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