Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
