She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
