This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
