It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize