It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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