I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
