it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
