His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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