I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
