Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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