Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
