Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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