hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
