sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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