Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
