the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
