guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize