Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Pooping to opera.
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