I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
