Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
