Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
