All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
