high people should be assigned attendants
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize