well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
