Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
