It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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