About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize