I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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