What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
