He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
