Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
