i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
