I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
