Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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