Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
