But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
