Ambien. No doubt about it.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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