go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
