Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
