seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
