So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
