why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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