i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
